The One Thing Couples Do To Ruin Valentines’s Day

February 10th, 2014

Every Valentine’s Day people everywhere have high expectations for that one special night where they will feel loved and celebrated only to have their hopes dashed by the night ending up in disappointment.  Couples in long term relationships today are busy with the responsibilities of work, family and other commitments and often just don’t have enough time to spend together.  They get together on their special night and make one critical mistake.  They begin to discuss the “business” of the couple.  Whether it is the new interest rate on the mortgage or the D their child received in math, what can start out as simple conversation can quickly bring those stressors right into the middle of your special time.  This Valentine’s Day, create a happy, light and loving vibe between you and your lover. Yes, there are possibly serious things you may need to discuss, this year, plan to save them for another time or address them well ahead of Valentines’ Day. Focus on the positive energy between you. Let yourself be loved. Many of us are great at giving love but not at receiving love.

Here are some ideas on how to heighten your connection and desire.


  • First, plan on making love at the beginning of the evening. By the end of the night you may be tired and many things can get in the way.  Send the kids out for an hour or two and begin the night in the bedroom.  Light candles, set the scene and enjoy!
  • Be sure wear something that makes you feel sexy or loving, our lovers love to feel that we have made an effort just for them.
  • Take a steamy photo (think Kim Kardashian’s famous selfie), print and put inside a box of chocolates for a happy and sexy surprise.
  • Select 3 gifts that are small and inexpensive that remind you of your lover. For example, if you think he is hot, give him a lighter. Create a treasure hunt that leads to the bedroom…
  • Play a game, role play for example. Be your favorite sexy star and have him or her guess who you are.
  • Have fun with it!


  • Bring up frustrations or arguments at this time. If you are deeply unhappy with your lover, express your feelings well ahead of time and hash it out or wait until after Valentine’s Day.
  • Don’t be disappointed. Your lover may not give you something you wanted specifically or may have forgotten about Valentine’s Day all together.  Believe your other is trying in his or her way and it might be best to discuss it later.
  • Don’t flirt with others or bring up past relationships. Focus on the two of you this evening.
  • Don’t come on too strong in a new relationship. This may be scary for your new lover.
  • Don’t be anxious or perfectionistic, try to roll or flow with the loving energy of the evening.

Enjoy, have the “felt sense” of love, warmth, and connection and FEEL how good the experience is. When we create positive healthy interactions, we create new healthy neurological pathways. Everyone benefits, your family, your health and that of your partner. We are all better, stronger and healthier when we are in supportive relationships.

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