Blog Posts

EVIL STEPMOM AND FAIRY GODMOTHER: YING AND YANG OF PARENTING/STEP PARENTING

March 15th, 2015

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Yes we all know the story: evil step mom does her best to foil the success of her beautiful stepdaughter, pushing her own daughters ahead. We all know the story and yes, there is another star-studded movie version in theatres this weekend.

Then the fairy godmother swoops in, rescues the beautiful Cinderella and saves the day with her kindness and excellentvstyling capabilities.

As a stepmom and occasional fairy godmother, in all honesty the real step mom, (there are lots of us out there), are both Fairy Godmother and Evil Stepmother combined. We are ying and yang. We like every person have both dark and light aspects of our emotions.

If each of us stepmoms is truly honest with ourselves, there are moments when we feel jealousy, pettiness and a tinge of anger towards our step kids. Our stepkids smell differently than our own do, there are times when we can’t and should not discipline them. And yes, moments when our partner pays more attention, or supports the stepchild over, and that burns! And yes, we would like to and hopefully don’t act out on our anger and jealousy.

The best action we can take is to speak of our jealousy and anger to our partner, own it and have compassion for our feelings. When have the courage to speak our truth, and our partner understands and helps us through our shame and hurt, we can heal and do better next time.

And, like me, most of you stepmoms out there have had your fairy godmother moments too. You have dropped everything and helped your stepdaughter dress for prom. You have moved mountains to help her get what she needed for her school work, her camp, her summer job, her physical wellbeing.

Yes, we stepmoms are curious, complex creatures with petty, jealous and deep love for our stepchildren. In the end the loving stepfamily can support, grow and develop secure, safe and caring kids. It takes a team, a compassionate and secure partnership.

Can You Have an Emotional Connection & Steamy Sex at the Same Time?

February 21st, 2015

What do you think? Do we have to choose between emotional connection and hot intercourse?

This tricky question comes up in couple’s therapy often. Is it possible to have both at once or are they diametrically opposed?

Check out my most recent article, published on Digital Romance, here.

When “Mine” & “Yours” Become “Ours”: All About Merging Your Finances with Your Significant Other

February 21st, 2015

Check out an exerpt of Chris Nesi’s article recently published in Primer Magazine featuring Trevor.

If you had to guess what caused the most strife for married couples, what would you say? Sex? Spending enough time together? Growing apart? Leaving the toilet seat up? It may not surprise you to learn that it is indeed all about the Benjamins.

According to a recent national survey by Money magazine, 70 percent of married couples fight about money, topping “household chores, togetherness, sex, snoring, and what’s for dinner” as topics of argument.

Money problems can rear their ugly head in a multitude of ways. Is one of you thrifty and the other can’t resist a deal? Does one of you have debt and the other doesn’t? When is it a good time to start talking about joint accounts? Should you be thinking about a pre-nup?

Read the full article here.

What is a Master Couple?

October 27th, 2014

What do successful couples do to stay connected?

Master couples make each other the most important person in the world. They nurture their relationship first, and the children second. They listen to each other, they care about each other. They are greater than the sum of their parts.

Thank You For Supporting Step It Up For Fall!

October 8th, 2014

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Trevor Crow, host and co-producer and Jill Fitzburgh, co-producer, of the “Step It Up for Fall” fashion/style inspiration party held at the Delamar Southport Hotel on September 23, 2014 pictured with Champagne Joy of TV’s Cancerland and one of the event models, presented Dr. Donna Twist, Executive Director, The Norma F. Pfriem Breast Care Center/VP Development, Bridgeport Hospital Foundation, with a donation to the NPBCC .

New Video From Step It Up For Fall!

October 8th, 2014

Missed our Fall Fashion Event at the Delamar Hotel in Southport? Check out the video here!

A portion of the proceeds donated to The Norma W. Pfreim Breast Care Center.

Bad Listening

July 10th, 2014

A lot of us could use a few pointers on how to listen properly. Check it out here!